Need a ... J-O-B...!

Time is just ticking away. School is getting close. Starts in less than two weeks, to be exact.

And I don't have a home yet.

We've been sending out cover letters and resumes, and interviewing since mid-June now. Most if not all of the Math, Science and Spanish cohorts have been hired and have homes to go to tomorrow (yes, TOMORROW) when Staff Development days for new teachers start. Yet, there are still about 20 EC cohorts that are still looking, still applying, still interviewing and still looking for homes to start our very first school year at... and it's getting close.

It was easy to say that things would work out quickly and well early on in the process, when we had weeks upon weeks to get interviews and find a school to work at. Now that we're down to less than two weeks, it's getting a little nerve-wracking. I sat up and counted all my apps the other day - over EIGHTY in total - and no offer yet. I'm getting a little concerned.

Perspective is a great thing, though. I walk by faith and this thing is a REAL test of faith right now... believing when everything you see says otherwise. I still count myself blessed, too, because there are so many in that 20-something group that haven't even gone on an interview yet, or at the very most have had one or two all summer, and then nothing. I've been on about 10 so far, maybe more, and have two more scheduled for next week. We're not 'placed' in positions with our program at all. We have to apply, interview and get the job all on our own. And it's a very real possibility for some that they may not get hired at all and may have to become permanent subs. Scary thought....

I'm walking into this interview tomorrow morning with full faith. My blessing is on the way. It's already done - I just wait for due time. Show yourself strong, Lord.

My faith is in you!

YES!!!!

Institute, Week Six and a Half  J

Ooooomg!! We have s-u-c-h a countdown going on right now it’s not even funny!! Only two more full days left this week, then final evaluations and then, at last, graduation. This week breezes by like nobody’s business. The great thing is that all we had to do pretty much during the week was proctor the EOCs for the kids (translation: just be another warm body in the room and make sure the kids don’t cheat or fall asleep), and go to the last few Framework sessions. Piece of cake. It flew by so fast that we were at graduation day before we even knew it.

I’m not really sure what I was expecting, honestly. Graduation was really informal, but it was also really FUN. Each group did presentations to their leaders, which was hilarious. This was the best part of everything, hands down. It was so nice to see everybody (those remaining, anyway) truly be able to relax and let their hair down, be themselves and have a great time. No worries about work due. No lingering thoughts about something you may have forgotten to complete or submit or email in, no work products and no more write-ups. Just having FUN. And it was great. We laughed and enjoyed ourselves, and it was great. It was a perfectly fitting way to end all the stress and craziness we’ve been going through for the past month and a half. All that stress just melted away and we became ourselves again, encouraged, empowered and now finally trained and ready to go out and help change the world.

WE MADE IT!!!!



Almost there...

Institute, Week Six

This is the week where things get, well, interesting and scary all at the same time. We’ve been through so much… learned and experienced so much together, bonded, gotten to know each other’s pet peeves and strengths and everything, and we’re kind of at a place where we feel like we have the ‘final’ group of PTs that will graduate Institute and leave the program ready to change the world. Lord knows it’s been hard seeing people we like and have established relationships with just disappear out of the program, but we’re mending and trying to bring the remaining parts of the cohort to a place where we’re cohesive and a ‘group’ again, instead of brokenhearted, disappointed fragments of … something or other.

So, we pick things up and get back in the swing… we continue student teaching at our sites, knowing that the missing people are like the big elephant in the room, but we’ve still got a job to do. We attend our Framework Sessions and don’t mention the fact that our groups are getting consistently smaller and smaller by the week. We go to all-cohort workshops and pretend not to notice the HUGE amount of empty seats that exist in the room. We even position ourselves closer to the front of the room so that the gaping sea of extra seats is not quite as obvious and disconcerting. And then comes yet another hit.

We’re in an all-cohort meeting with just days to go before the program is all over, and during the presentation, we notice some people getting small notes brought to them by administration. Honestly, I pay very little attention to this at the time because 1)I’m actually into the material being presented and 2)I just figure they’ve forgotten to hand something in or they have some group meeting afterward or something… no worries, right? When the workshop is over, we all pack up and go home, looking forward to knocking out yet another day, bringing us closer and closer to that wonderful ‘graduation day’ that will end this part of our stint in the process. We’re down to single digits now, people. We can see the end. It’s in our sights and it’s soooo close. ..

Tomorrow arrives, and we all go to our practice teaching sites, as we have so many times before. Only this time, we can’t help but notice… cars are missing out of the parking lot. MORE PEOPLE ARE GONE.   More PTs are missing. Classrooms are missing teachers, some of the CTs are upset because they actually have to teach their class today and weren’t planning to, and folks are held up in couples or trios in the hallways discussing the recent events that brought us to this point. Turns out that those ‘harmless’ sticky notes I mentioned before weren’t actually so ‘harmless’ after all. Those people got notices to stay after and meet once the training was over, and for one reason or another, they were let go. Discontinued. Kicked out of the program. We lost 10 MORE PTs yesterday. Seriously, dude. There’s only 4 more full days to go… couldn’t you have just let them stay???

Now we’re down to brass tacks, no joke. No one will give us a definitive number of how many PTs are left in the program, and we’re left to trying to frantically count the people on our own before a workshop or all-cohort meeting starts when we’re all together. We have lost so many people. So many. Talk about low morale. We’re all walking on egg shells now, for real. It seems people are being let go for the simplest of things, and none of us – NONE of us – are in a position to risk getting kicked out of the program at the home stretch, because we’re all incredibly broke after a month and a half of working without pay, and we really, really (really) need our stipends. There’s a serious air of distrust with admin right now. It just seems so cold-hearted… one can’t help but wonder about the benefit for the program and the school system – you’ve essentially gotten a full month of free labor out of a whole lot of people, and because they’ve been let go before they actually ‘graduated’, they don’t get paid for any of it. Not one little red cent. All that gas money, all that time staying up late reading tons of pages and writing lesson plans and completing work products, etc., etc., etc., all that time and effort sacrificed from your own family and household, and … nothing left to show for it. Wow. These remaining four days can’t come fast enough.

...Think we hit bottom... Week Five's here...

Institute, Week Five

Framework sessions are pretty much status quo. Hallway conversation is getting kind of harried… people are irritable, tired of working in the same groups week in and week out, and now little things like the pitch of a group member’s voice or someone’s habit of thinking out loud is really starting to grate on other people’s nerves. I guess it’s normal in a way… so far, we’ve been up under each other for almost 25 straight days, and we’re approaching our personal ends with the little things that we hardly even noticed before. To top that off, people are starting to get written up left and right. Late assignment (and by late, I mean 5 minutes, not days), accruing absences for being 15 minutes late to a Framework session or workshop, etc. Some survive it, some don’t.  In one day, we lost 4 PTs for various reasons. Another day, more of them are gone.

Then Praxis Scores come in, and oh, Lord… our numbers take a serious hit. Suddenly, people you’ve been sharing rides with and having lunch with and emailing, encouraging, bouncing lesson plan ideas off of, getting to know their stories and family members, etc., etc, are GONE. They’re here this morning and gone this afternoon. And the funny thing is, everything just moves on as if they were never even here. It’s kind of weird in a very real way. Like, we all know we’ve lost x amount of people in our own group today, but Framework session starts and nothing is mentioned. We just start the day as usual, with the only real acknowledgement coming from us as PTs.  I guess I knew that the hundred and something people we started with a few weeks ago would decrease for natural reasons along the way, but never in my wildest dreams did I think people would start dropping off like flies this quickly. And the machine keeps moving on.

You can’t help but really feel for these people, too. I mean, these were friends. We got to know these people, talk to them, spend time with time, teach with them. We know about their girlfriends at home and husbands and children that they couldn’t afford to bring with them right now, we know who’s worried about a sick parent at home, who’s planning to get married in a month or so, who just quit their job and sold their house to come here, etc. And the sad thing is, these PTs have been working for FIVE WEEKS NOW, and have nothing to show for it. They didn’t finish Institute technically, so they don’t get paid. They literally get nothing for the time, effort, gas and other expense money they’ve spent toward Institute and student teaching thus far. Everything’s just lost. Some of these people picked up and left everything, moving here from places like Ohio, Georgia, California, Florida and beyond. All that to be kicked out in the fifth week??? Wow. It’s seriously disheartening, to say the least. I think at this point, we all feel like a deflated balloon in a sense… like you’ve just been kicked in the stomach. When we first started Institute, you had to get to the main site early just to get a good park. Now you can pretty much park wherever you like.  We used to have to leave for the all-cohort meetings early too so we could get a seat. Now… it’s hard not to notice that whole sections are empty. Really, really discouraging time.

And there's Week Four...

Institute, Week Four

Okay, so by now, all the teamwork and feelings of cum-by-yah that we had going on in the beginning weeks are gone. We’re in the same Framework session group afternoon in and afternoon out and all day on Fridays, and we’re just about sick of each other and of working with ‘elbow partners’ and groups. Don’t get me wrong… I’m a team player, and I like working with others. It’s fun. It’s interactive. You get so many different viewpoints that make things interesting… but by now, our ‘team’ is falling apart. We’re sick of working with the same people, we’re beginning to get on each other’s nerves. Little cliques are beginning to form and some of those in the younger part of our group are starting to compete with their peers and with the older members as well. You know, stuff like you’re hogging all the attention, we like you but we don’t like her, you’re answering more questions than me, the teacher pays more attention to you, why? Yeah. Senseless, immature crap like that. These sometimes feel like the longest two and a half hours of my life each afternoon. And only prayer can get me through an all-day session on Fridays. O-m-g.  When is Institute over again???

The silver lining on all of this is our student teaching component. I absolutely love this time. I love it. I look forward to getting up early and getting to my classroom so I can set up everything I need for today’s lessons, make the needed copies, get the attendance ready, etc.  Since we’ll actually be teaching this week, we decide to get there early – like 6 am. So I’m up at 4, out by 5, there a few minutes before 6. It’s not even fully light out yet, with the morning light just starting to streak colors across the sky. But I get to teach today. Actually teach a full lesson (or two), and I’m so psyched that all I can see is the beauty in it. So it’s just me and the custodian, who’s opening the building for the day. I walk up to the classroom and start to get all my video clips ready for the lesson, write out my objective and content standard on the board, and take my time making sure everything’s in place for when the students arrive in two hours. I take a moment and wonder to myself… is this what it’s going to be like when I actually have my own classroom and my own set of students? Will I remember to savor this early-morning time in my classroom to get myself organized and think of all those little small but crucial things that can make or break your preparation.

We take the short gift of reprieve we’ve been given last week and use that time to write next week’s lesson plans. Six to eight of those daggone suckers. MAN!! I never, ever knew how long writing a good, quality lesson plan would take me. There were some people in Institute who could knock out a lesson plan in an hour or two, but it easily took me a good four (or more) hours to do a lesson plan that my advisor would call ‘thoughtful’ or ‘very good’.  I don’t mind putting the time in and felt perfectly justified in using that time to Google the heck out of the subject I was teaching so that I could really be prepared and actually know what I was talking about, but it’s not so easy to spend that kind of time on one lesson when you have six to eight of them due in just a few days. That weekend was killer for all of us, for real.

Lesson plans were due on Sundays by 8 pm, and almost every single weekend, I was hitting that Submit button at 7:59 and counting. A second after 8, and you had a late submission. Get ready for a write-up, honey. Couldn’t have that, so I spent my entire weekends trying to write thoughtful, quality lesson plans that I could actually be proud of and that would get the content across to the kids in my class in a way that meant something to them and stuck. I began to feel so responsible for the things we were teaching them, and when you saw from questioning and/or an exit ticket that they didn’t quite get what you were teaching, it just ripped through you, knowing how much effort you’d put into doing a good job for them. But the really cool thing is that I learned how to reflect on how well I researched, taught and assessed my lesson plans. It’s okay if the kids didn’t quite get the key points of your lesson plan this go round. Take a moment or two to reflect on why that might be – maybe I wasn’t as clear as I intended to be. Maybe I forgot to mention a key point or two in my talking to them. Maybe I forgot to use my Checks for Understanding in a way that measured whether they were still with me, or if I left them behind somewhere in the lesson and didn’t realize it. So, during my next lesson, I make sure that I correct the errors in delivery that I made the first time. This keeps happening lesson after lesson, time after time, and with constant reflection, before you know it, you’re way, way better than you were just a few days ago. I’m loving this process of learning how to teach, and learning to examine myself and my delivery to make sure I do the best I can to help my students achieve what they must in just a few short weeks. I love that the focus isn’t on blaming the kids, but that it makes us as teachers be really honest and reflective with ourselves to make sure we’re differentiating, taking other learning styles into account, etc. I’m learning so much, and I LOVE IT.

We wrapped up this week of student teaching on a serious high. All of us in our classroom did really well with our lessons this week. We were shaky at first, nervous, excited to get out there and get started but still very much unsure of our ability and whether we’d be able to do a good job or not, but it all worked out. At about our second or third lesson of the week (we had to do six to eight), we found our groove and began to get into our lessons, and the students could tell. They began to participate and answer questions, and it was good. It was reeeeally good. All said, I was so glad we had this week where we kinda had to just dive in there and get started. It gave us such an empowerment and surge to carry us into next week’s teaching, and it actually ended up lasting all the way to the end of student teaching, which was incredibly helpful.  The interaction you experience when you’re up there with your kids and you’re teaching and they’re taking it in and asking questions, connecting past learning, and bridging the new material… it’s just incredible. I saw so clearly during that time just why I chose to embark upon this journey and become a teacher. There’s just nothing like this!

Week Three...

Institute, Week Three

Okay so now, just about all the shiny-newness of Institute is wearing thin. We are tired. No, scratch that… we’re freakin’ worn out. And we’re only halfway through Institute. I can’t remember the last time I went to bed at a decent time or woke up actually feeling rested and not tired. I get up at five and I’m out of the house by six, on the highway and at my practice teaching site by 7, usually. If I get out early enough, there’s not really any traffic and I can take my time getting there.

My practice teaching site is NOWHERE near my house – in fact, it’s all the way across town, and this trekking from my house to the practice teaching site to the main site and back home again is seriously killing my gas tank. Gas is c-r-a-z-y high right now, and my husband is easily putting $100 a week into the car for gas just so I can get everywhere I need to be for Institute. If I were working, that might not be such a struggle… but Institute is not paid time. We are essentially working for FREE for the entire course of Institute, and IF we finish, IF we pass and IF we graduate, we’ll get a stipend for the program for all our trouble. Don’t get me wrong, I knew this going in and I’m thankful for the stipend (when we get it), but doing all this spending week after week after week with no money coming in to replace it is seriously painful, and at times, scary. The gas needle has been on E more times that I wish to remember, and I find myself praying that I won’t run out of gas on the highway on the way to practice teaching in the mornings or on the way to the main site in the afternoons… And whatever you do, don’t be late. Lateness past 15 minutes = an absence = a writeup… 2 or 3 ‘absences’ = you getting kicked out of the program… for good. Talk about stressful…

The threat looms everywhere... late assignment? forgot an email? late to class?...

Institute's starting to feel like a bully...

This week, we’re student teaching a few times during the week. We were supposed to write 3-4 hour-long lessons to work with small groups of students, to kind of ease our way into teaching and being in front of the kids. My fellow PTs and I got our stuff all written up and ready, submitted by last Thursday for this week, only to not be able to use it. We had so, so much information to cover during the two-week summer school session that we never had time to pull the kids away into small groups for any specified amount of time, because there was just so much to teach them in regular class session. It all worked together, though. Being able to watch our CT in action was more than worth it.

So, week three passes and we haven’t been in front of our students to teach an actual lesson just yet. Truth be told, though, very few PTs in the school we’re assigned to were able to teach this week, because we all pretty much ran into the same thing. There’s just so much to teach in such a short time that taking an hour or two (or three) away per week from that already tight schedule just isn’t feasible. These kids have to pass an EOC in just over a week, and we have to get as much content in as we can, so nobody minds. We all fully understand. And perhaps underneath all that, we’re all secretly glad that things have worked out the way they have because we were just a little terrified at the thought of having to stand in front of a classroom full of kids we barely know and try to actually ‘teach’ them something. Laughable, huh? Yeah, I know. Especially considering the fact that we’re trying to become, ummm… TEACHERS???   LOL  Hey… gotta get rid of those jitters sometime, right??

Week Two...

Institute, Week Two

We’re starting to feel a little tired now. Some of our shininess is wearing off. We’re still excited and looking forward to so many new things and challenges and actually having real students, etc…. but our energy levels are slowly starting to decline. Enthusiasm still reigns, but we’re starting to feel the weight of just how tired a day, then week straight, of Framework sessions can actually make you. The fun part of this is that we got to go to our Student Teaching sites this week, and observe different teachers in action. No lesson plans just yet, no teaching, just watching the pros at work and taking notes and learning as much as we could because before we knew it, the week would be over and we would be ON. I learned sooo much this week. Admin had us on a rotating schedule, so we watched a particular teacher do their thing in their class for awhile, then rotated to another classroom and began a fresh observation with another teacher and set of students.

When all was said and done, we’d had the opportunity to watch all the teachers that we PTs (Practitioner Teachers) would be divvied up to. It was so interesting to watch how different teachers can be. We saw everything from the teachers who were soft-spoken and nice and students who showed no respect to them whatsoever, to those who were really tough and weren’t going to take anything from anyone these next few weeks… and the students knew it and responded accordingly. There were many who were somewhere in the middle, with a healthy mix of a soft-spoken voice but healthy mix of I-mean-business attitude, and their classes so smoothly. This is the kind of teacher I was given.  Awesome teacher. Really nice guy, knows his stuff and is incredible with the creativity he uses to get it across to the students, but never really raises his voice unless making a point in the lesson. Yet, the kids knew he meant business and we hardly ever had a discipline issue in the classroom during the whole summer session. THIS is definitely someone whose style has had a major impression on me over the summer.

 I saw so many instances of OPEN disrespect to teachers (profanity, talking back, outright refusing to do what was asked of them, etc.) over the summer, and not once did I see this stuff show its ugly head in our classroom. Kids were literally getting kicked out of summer school left and right because of behavior (or smoking in the bathroom, or leaving campus during lunch, or bringing in alcohol and trying to play it off in a water bottle… really??)  One day a kid got a little flip with his response to the teacher, and true to form, our CT was able to bring him right back in by using that same soft tone and business-like voice. Loved it.  Learned so, so much from it.  Student teaching for me was an amazing experience, and so helpful to get me ready for teaching actual students of my own. 

Finally, The Institute Chronicles...

Hey, there. It’s been awhile, I know.

Sorry for the delay in posting. I’d originally intended to update my blog every single day of Summer Institute, to share my experiences, highs and lows, so you could get a good view of what we were going through during those (e.ter.nal.) six and a half weeks… but that didn’t work out so well. Turns out, Institute was so, so, so much more exhausting and mind-draining than I thought it would be, and by the end of the first day (literally), I was down for the count. Nevermind getting further into Institute week after week, and trying to muster up the extra energy to backtrack and update the blog…. Good intentions overall, but things just didn’t work out like I thought they would.  So, now that Institute is O-V-E-R  [YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!] and I’m actually free and have nothing due and can thing straight again (hehe), I’ve decided to go back and cover Institute week by week so the experience isn’t lost.  All that said and done, here goes!  J

Institute, Week One (three days only, W-F)

How in the world can I be this tired already???

Yay! We’re all excited that Institute has finally, finally started, and we can start getting to really know our cohort and make some new friends, etc. We’re all happy and excited and shiny and new. Institute has not yet beaten the life out of us, and we start our mornings with big smiles and excited voices that can’t stop talking about all the stuff that’s coming our way – did anybody really read that whole 600+ Guidebook before the Summer Institute started (yes, most of us actually did), did anybody take the time to read the pages and pages (and pages) of work that we had to do for our Independent Study Guide before Institute started? (yeah, I think they actually did. We used the answers for our ISG one day during Framework sessions while we worked in groups, and then really didn’t mention all that work again for the next six and a half weeks. Bummer.) When do we start our Student Teaching? Where will we be? How many students will we have? Man, I hope my Cooperating Teacher (CT) is nice… and helpful… and understanding, etc., etc., etc.

So we have a short opening ceremony as a whole group, and then break into our teams with our leaders (PTAs, or Practitioner Teacher Advisors). We get our school assignments (mine is High School, US History, yay!), our Cooperating Teacher’s name and find out what our usual daily schedule will look like for the next month or so.  Looks like we’ll arrive at our schools at 7:15 or earlier every morning, set up and spend planning time with our CTs until the students arrive for summer school at 8, then student teach lessons until 1:30 in the afternoon. At 1:30, we leave our sites, and have an hour to drive back to the main location where all the Framework sessions will be held. That’s Monday through Thursday. On Fridays, we spend all day at the main site, mostly doing Framework Sessions all day after a short opening all-cohort meeting.

You can either shove down your food during the 20 minutes the kids have for lunch as you do simultaneously do lunch duty, or you can wait and take your time to eat when your student teaching is done for the day and you’re driving back to the main site for Framework sessions. At first, I chose to eat with the kids while doing lunch duty. After several days of having an upset stomach from shoving food down in an inordinate amount of time, I eventually opted to just wait and take my time eating my lunch as I drove back to the main site each day. Everybody kinda worked out their own solutions with this one.

For the first week, though, we stayed at the main site and went through what the program called “Framework Sessions”. We were each given this (h-u-g-e) binder with Modules that we’d slowly go through during the duration of Institute, and we knocked out one and a half modules for the first couple of days. It was fun at first. Breaking into groups and working with ‘elbow partners’ had its novelties, and everything was cool.  Our group was still new and we were getting to know each other and all was well, so this worked out great.  Stay tuned!

Counting down...

Counting down to the last few days of Insitute. We only have Mon, Tues, Wed and half of Thurs, then we're (really and truly) free. I seriously can't wait. These six and a half weeks have been a journey that's been at once challenging, rewarding, exhausting, mind-boggling, and so many other adjectives that I just can't seem to think of right now. There's so much I'd like to say about it all, but I've decided to hold off till graduation is real and true and official. Three and a half more days to go. Three and a half days, bless the Lord!!!

4, 3, 2, 1... FREEDOM.

oMG... just four and a half more days until Institute is ALL THE WAY OVER. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

I'm about at my limit...

This?  This would be Institute.

And this? This would be me, swiftly approaching my limit with, you guessed it... Institute.

Iiiiiiiimmmmm sssssooooooooo ttttiiiiiiiiiirrrrrreedddddd!!!!!!

This is me. In Institute. Exhausted beyond belief.

This is me. Everyday after Institute. Exhausted beyond belief. Lord, help me.

Yeah.

Refreshed and back in the swing...

So, after much sleep and vegging out, I'm finally refreshed and up for a whole new week of Summer Institute. It hasn't been bad at all, just very, very (verrrry) intense and at times, just plain exhausting. I've lost count now of the number of nights I've arrived home from Institute and just passed out - no reading, no family time, no TV, no nothing... just a shower and my pillow. I guess I underestimated just how much this could take out of you. When I get home most days, I'm so tired that I'm literally scared to take a shower until after I get all my reading and assignments done. If I don't wait, I'm liable to pass out on the couch and be down for the night (yeah, it's like that).

Anywho... We're in week 2 now and things are going very well. The summer school classroom I've been assigned to is for High School History, and it's awesome. The teacher is wonderful - a real answered prayer. And the school is nice, too. I was really surprised at just how many students showed up for summer school, but I guess that just reiterates why we're there. We do lunch duty during lunch, so we're all getting pretty adept at eating while standing and walking around the cafeteria to talk to and socialize with the kids. Call me crazy, but when I was in high school, the LAST thing I wanted after being in a classroom with the same teacher for hours was to have that teacher sit down and talk to me during my lunchtime... Hmmmm. But, since we're being asked to talk and socialize with them during their very (very) short lunch time, talk and socialize we will. ;)

We start practice teaching next week. I'll do my best to update on how that goes... Now, off to my Unit Planning and Big Goal work products. Adios!

Blah...

Omgosh... I'm so tired I can hardly see straight. I've been meaning to update this blog and tell you what Institute has been like day by day, but.... I'M SO FREAKIN' TIRED I CAN'T HOLD MY HEAD UP. It'll be all I can do right now to drag myself to the shower and hit the bed... I'm wiped.

Tomorrow's another day.

Institute, Day One

Whew. Had our first day of Institute today, and it was really great. During the opening session, we covered the achievement gap that exists in our country, and why it's so important that programs like ours exist to help close that huge disparity in the quality of education received by minorities in the United States. The stats are just staggering. Staggering, saddening, maddening, infuriating... it's a ridiculous situation that's unfair on so many levels it's not even funny... but, that's why we're here, right? Learning, reading, studying, practicing, becoming... to help make this a more equal race to the future for as many kids as we can...

After our all-cohort meeting, we broke down into our respective groups and met our PT Advisors. Ours is awesome. Cheery, energetic and knows her stuff... can't wait to learn more and more from this lady. I'm so thankful that I got a good group!!! Yay. We went right to work, with session after session (after session), beginning to cover the modules in our summer curriculum. No time wasted here!! lol  It was good stuff, I learned alot and made some good friends along the way, too. When the day was finally over close to 5:30, I felt a little tired, but had no idea just how exhausted I realllllly was. When I got home and took a shower, I was OUT. Completely OUT. I was so tired and worn out that I couldn't keep my eyes open. My body was crying... what the heck did you do to me today??? Well, body... that would be INSTITUTE, day one. Guess I'd better get used to it!!

*** More Institute info in July entries ***

....

So it's like 2:29 am, and I can't sleep. Took not one, but TWO Melatonins and still... no sleep. One usually knocks me out cold on nights like this. I think my brain is just seriously overworked from completing my pre-Institute work. Yeah, maybe that's it, lol. Whoever said they don't check your pre-Institute work for completion wasn't part of TNTP... 'cause that's certainly not the case with us.

Our ISP (all twenty-something pages of it) was due last night at 11:59 pm, and I worked on it for several days straight only to still have to finally submit the finished product at ... yup... 11:59 pm. Just made it, literally. That thing was so long is was just scary. Our first lesson plan was due the next day (today), and that took forever, too! Don't get me wrong... I knew writing lesson plans took time - but I didn't expect that it would take me the whole entire day to write ONE complete lesson plan that was up to TNTP standards. Wow, that took alot out of me. Got that one submitted just in time, too. Institute's starting in a couple of DAYS, and I'm sure we've got soooooooooooo much more to do in the next six and a half weeks that it's not even funny.... Melatonin, gonna need ya, buddy!

Induction

Just had Induction this past weekend, and it was so informative. I've been reading blogs from various TFA corps members for the past year or so to get an idea of what Induction would be like, and from the readings that I found, I expected lots of inspirational (TFA-like) speakers, lots of cheering and getting hyped up for the task that lies before us, etc, etc.... Guess I thought it would be a kind of pep rally of sorts to get us geared up and ready to start Institute on a really high note...

Yeah... no, lol. It wasn't bad at all... it was just ... Work. We didn't have any speakers slated to greet us and stir up our enthusiasm for the challenge we're about to take on. We didn't have any cheers or things that you read about so much on other people's blogs who have been through similiar training... but what we did have was, well, excellent.

Our Induction was work from start to finish. We went over (in painstaking detail) all the ways we would be evaluated this summer in Institute, what those evaluation instruments looked like and how they were used, how we could use them to guide our learning and practice teaching, etc. We also covered the specific schedule for Institute (finally, yay), and what those six plus weeks will look like for us. I have to say... the time was used very well and I learned a whole lot.

Although I was kinda looking forward to a speaker or two to give us more info on how this educational inequality is looking nationally and exactly how our work here will help to put a dent in the status quo, I can honestly say that I don't feel my time was wasted at all. On the contrary, I actually feel alot more prepared to enter Institute in a week or so, having a greater understanding of what's required of me and how I will be evaluated. So, all in all, Induction was a good thing!

I so appreciate that the people I've met in our cohort are friendly and outgoing and willing to help each other. I think that with a culture like that, we can accomplish just about anything. And the coolest part is that we're the charter corps in our area this year. How awesome is that??? Man... if you purpose to do your absolute best and learn all you can, dedicate yourself to the commitment and really push, you can come out of this first year having accomplished some great things with your kids. That's soo exciting to me!!!

I have to admit there are times when my mind just fast-forwards to next year this time, when I can look back on the whole experience of Institute and my first year of teaching (and passing my certification program), and realize that 1) I will no longer be a first-year newbie teacher and 2)I'll be a real teacher with a real teaching license behind my name. How cool is that??? 

So looking forward to starting Institute and getting the jitters out with this student teaching thing. I reeeeeeally hope I get a great Cooperating Teacher this summer. Someone who actually likes kids would be phenomenal. I'm determined to soak up every single little itty bit of learning that I can from whoever this person will be... their years of experience in this thing have brought them much wisdom in the everyday how-to, and I'm looking forward to learning as much of that wisdom as I can. Hey, every little bit helps, and I've got a t-o-n of stuff to master in a short time.

I'll do my best to be more regular about my blogging once Institute starts. I can remember scouring Google to find any and everything I could about TFA and similar program blogs that talked in detail about what Institute was like. In keeping with those that did so and ended up helping me in the process, I'm going to do my best to be consistent with it to potentially help next year's cohort when they start their Google searches. We're all helpers one of another, that's the way I look at it!  ;)

All things well!

K... can I tell you that I love, love, love this new group?? Our corps members are trickling in, some already here, many relocating here from other states, and I love the atmosphere of the group already. I'm so glad we finally got our group page up and running so that everybody can pitch in and help each other as needed. It's so cool to see people helping others study for the Praxis, sharing study guides and resources, giving tips and info on the new area they're about to relocate their lives to, and just helping out in any way needed... I love this.

God, you really do all things well!

reading, reading, reading and more.... reading;

So, time's marching on so fast it's unbelievable. I started reading my (h-u-g-e) SPED textbook to help prepare me for the soon-coming summer institute, and I'm learning so much. This book may be gargantuan (600+ pages, PLUS an addendum...), but the contents are sooo good. Reading the information really does help make all of this make more sense to me, and concepts and things are really starting to come together for me. I've got to find a way to do my own kind of review or something before Institute starts so that it's all fresh in my mind, and I can access info easily when I need to. Just took a look at where I am in my ISG reading... I'm almost exactly half finished. Aaagggghhhh!! Considering how many freakin' pages are in this thing, I was seriously hoping I was further along... but it's all good. I'll just keep hacking away at these pages and long chapters, and before long, I'll be getting to that last page before you know it!!

We have a PT (practitioner teacher) social coming up tomorrow, and I'm really excited about that. I haven't met many of the PTs face to face yet, and it will be pretty cool to start getting to know the people I'll be spending the next six and a half weeks with. It's at a local coffee house, so it should be really comfortable and casual...perfect for getting to know each other. I'm so excited....

Induction is coming up very quickly. It's scheduled for next Saturday, and I'm really wondering what to expect. We'll be there all day... wonder what the day's schedule is? So far, the only things I've been able to access were different blogs from past TFA corps members [thanks sooo much, guys!], and I've learned alot from what they wrote of their experiences. TFA blogs have been my daily diet for months now, lol. TNTP has several blogs out there, and I've scooped them up, too... reading as many of them as I could get my hands on. In a very short while, I'll be in the midst of the fire that is Summer Institute myself... gotta get these fingers ready to fly 'cause I don't want to miss any of that - this blog is my own personal record of what this entire experience/journey into teaching is like, so those posts should be, ummm, interesting. :)

It's so funny to be at this stage of my life and have something so new beginning so shortly. I mean, I've started new jobs before, been the new kid on the block several times, know all about that stuff. But this career change into teaching has me sooo excited and giddy that I feel almost like I'm graduating from college as a twenty-something and launching out into the world brand-new and fresh, again... I have to laugh at myself with that. I'm in my mid-forties and loving every single minute of it... no regrets, I've experienced much joy and accomplishment in my life... but it's just incredible to me that this undertaking could seem at once so different, so exciting and so scary all wrapped up together. The only thing that belies the excitement I feel is the years of working experience that I have behind me, and I'm really glad about that. I had no idea that such a movement was underfoot in our country. I knew that people [myself included] were very dissatisfied with the state of our educational system, and that it was a real issue, but I had no idea that such a movement to actually c-h-a-n-g-e things was in process. Programs like TFA and TNTP (and so many others) are really doing a great work in helping to end this crazy injustice that's been running rampant in our country for so long, and how COOL is it that I actually get to be an active part of it??? Oh, man... that's da bomb, so to speak. i don't have to sit on the sidelines and wonder how things are going, whether it's working, what's being done... I'll be right in the thick of things doing my part to help change this crazy, archaic, biased system, and I'm so glad about it.

Summer Insitute, here I come!!!!

...Whew...

This reading sure is kicking my butt. I mean... for realz. As soon as I got the Special Ed guidebook, I dove right in because I knew I had over 600 pages to read and not alot of time to do it all in. I tried to stay consistent and read two and a half chapters per week until I was all done, but I think I abandoned that schedule at least a week or so ago...

Now I have to MAKE myself read this daggone book. I keep peeking at it, sitting there on the table like it's harmless and stuff, and then inevitably end up looking away from it with an unconscious shudder when I consider the number of pages I still have yet to read...

Funny thing, though. Numbers don't usually bother me. 600 pages? No problem!! Just need to break it down into smaller peices, and you'll be done before you know it. I'm that person on the long road trip that gets a kick out of being all the way down at exit 369, when you know the exit you need to get home is like... exit 25. I see that high number and I'm completely undaunted... I start singing, laughing, get happy about it and make a game out of mentally figuring out how many more exits we have to go when we get down to odd numbers like 347 and 283... I'm just weird like that. But this book is bugging me. The information is good. I mean it makes perfect sense to me. It's actually interesting. But the thing that's getting on my last nerve is that they keep making the chapters longer and longer and loooooooooonger.... They faked me out in the beginning with chapters that were oh... 16 pages long... and then slowly increased to 20... still no problem, I'm good, I'm still happy, still singing...

But when those daggone chapters start stretching to 30 and 40 pages at least (one of them was 50 pages long, at last count), I'm starting to fade. My enthusiasm is waning. My song is getting lower and lower and... well, you get the picture. I'm having to force myself to read all these pages and this is exactly where I DIDN'T want to find myself with this assignment. I've got too much dern reading to be doing to get discouraged now...

I think I just need to take a break from that book. Not look at it. No peeking. Not even turn in its general direction for a few days, and let my mind refresh itself. Because it's already May, and I've got to have this whole daggone thing read by the end of the month. So... vacation-from-the-dreaded-ridiculously-long-book... you've really got to do your thing and get me back in gear.

'Cause time's a'tickin!